Gone Like a Cat Outta Hell

Today is Saturday and it's 114 degrees outside and I really want to be kicking back in my Clampett Oasis right now.

Instead, I'm ready to go on a trip that I'm not sure is happening (and by ready, I mean mindset, not packed), wondering whose yard the cat that rejected me is in, and pondering if men over 50 find hairy legs attractive these days.

Maybe I should start at the beginning.

Going Through It

A couple Fridays ago, I had the bright idea of having a margarita "party" in my brother's backyard. 

By "party" I mean my sister, sis-in-law and maybe one neighbor. 

I wanted to set up a few wading pools under a camping shade awning and have a budget pool party, Beverly Hillbillies style.

The Day My Dog Made Enemies of Pretty Much Everyone

It was a pretty eventful weekend over here in Splitsville.

Friday, as I sat at my makeshift desk on wheels and looked across my tiny, borrowed room at my makeshift bed in the corner, I began to get a little down about my current situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm enormously grateful to my brother for giving me a place to lay my head, but I was feeling a little cooped up and needed a change of scenery for a day. 

My Life Imploded But I Got Some Free Makeup

It's been longer than I intended since I last wrote. Yet, shorter than I expected. I know that makes no sense.

But the thing is, when traumatic things happen in my life, I tend to submerge, isolate, withdraw, and all those emotionally unhealthy synonyms one does when they are hurting.

The last time major upset happened in my life was in August 2017 and it took me over two years to start blogging again. 

Post-Pandemic Margarita Preparations

How are you holding up? I mis-typed that as "holing up" and corrected it, but really, either of those fits.

What is this, week 7...or is it 8, since we've been staying home? I'm not sure, but it's long enough that calendars have lost their point and even homebodies like myself are ready to venture out a bit.

I'm glad restrictions are starting to ease up some. I'm ready to get gussied up and go out for margaritas.

A Riveting Tale of Our Weekend

How was your weekend?

Ours was quite boring by most people's standards, but I was perfectly happy with it and I'm going to tell you about it because really, nothing else is going on over here.

We took the dogs for a walk and saw colorful, happy messages on the sidewalk, which I loved.

New Normals

I'm anxious. Are you anxious? I'm anxious.

Something about not being able to run to the store for an ingredient I need without donning a hazmat suit first makes me anxious. So I don't make the recipe because I can't get the ingredient and who wants to battle stores right now anyway.

And not being able to make that recipe makes me feel like I have no control. And feeling like I have no control makes me anxious.

Is this your brain right now too?

They'll Eat Me First in a Zombie Apocalypse

Well, if a global pandemic doesn't get me to blog, I don't know what will.

Even my dog is paranoid of catching it. She was sleeping soundly until I sneezed, then shot her head up and gave me this look, "Cover yer mouff, mom. Gawd!"

When I last left you, it was December and I wrote about our TomHanksgiving.

But the whole world has changed since then and no one wants to be Tom Hanks's neighbor right now.

TomHanksgiving

Can we pretend we're back at the end of Thanksgiving and not actually a week out from Christmas? Because then this post wouldn't be so very outdated.

I think I mentioned in my last post (or maybe I didn't...I don't remember) that my brother had the idea to go to a buffet for Thanksgiving, then afterward, see the Tom Hanks movie about Mr. Rogers.

Making Fairy Gardens with Mom and Other Stuff I Did Last Week

I think I'm doing pretty good with my renewed blogging efforts, considering I'm coming back from a two year stint in no-blog land.

My mom was visiting until yesterday so instead of blogging, I was busy making fairy gardens, watching movies, shopping, looking at old pictures, and getting our eyebrows done at Ulta. In short...having a grand 'ole time with me mum.

So, busy week with no time for blogging and now I'm going to cram it all into one post and tell you about it. Go refill your coffee (or cocktail)...I'll wait.

Smarties and Hippies and Peepee Dogs

Hi. It's Wednesday. I did some stuff since my last post and it's all random and silly, so this post will be all over the place.

Wait, where you going?

Firstly, remember when I asked the question, "Does buying a smart car make you smarter?" Remember that from oh...three years ago?

Yeah. That answer is a hard no.

White Walkers in Jaunty Hats

I'm at that stage in my big Gray Hair Grow-out (or as Fred likes to call it, The White Walker Attack), where my hair is beginning to look pretty shitty.

I have about an inch of gray up there, so I decided it's time for the hat phase of this whole operation.

I'm really glad for the cold weather because wearing a hat in cold weather is perfectly acceptable. Yeah, I know - it's acceptable in any weather, but I've never been a hat person.

Still The Same Beeping Life

I was heartened to see that yesterday's post had ten views. Ten people are still interested in my blatherings. (Is that a word?)

Or maybe they glanced, saw my gray roots picture and were blinded by the light reflecting off my silver hair and couldn't actually read my post.

(Can you tell this whole I'm-growing-out-my-gray-hair thing is pretty much an obsession for me right now?)

Anyway...heartened. So I'm pressing on with my blatherings.

I'm Back and I'm Going Gray

There better be some F-ing coffee 

Well hey. Haven't done this in a really long time.

Some shit happened in my personal life and I just didn't feel like blogging anymore. That was like...two years ago.

Things have been better for a while now and I've thought of all kinds of things to tell you and all kinds of stuff has happened worth writing about, but procrastinator that I am...here we are two years later.

Anyhoo, I'm just gonna start by telling you about my latest decision.

Six memorable summer moments I didn't blog about

This is the opposite of a rough summer.

It's been a rough summer for me. Recouping from my surgery is harder than I thought, then (and I haven't told you this yet) I had a coughing fit about 10 days after the surgery, and fractured a vertebrae in my lumbar spine.

A post about that is forthcoming, but the point is...rough summer.

But I always manage to laugh stuff off best I can, because what else are you gonna do?

I Almost Rescued a Bird

Go away, crazy lady.

When I last left you, I had fishing line sticking out of my neck and a $109,000 surgery bill. Well, not really a bill because insurance....but still.

You'll be happy (or maybe just grossed out) to know that after tugging on the fishing line a little bit each day over the course of a few days, the thread finally just slipped out. The thing was about two inches long.

Surgery is Expensive. Also, I didn't Win the Lottery.

We didn't win the lottery. I say "we" because my brother, sister, myself, my mom and stepdad have an agreement that if any of us wins, we will all split the money.

So when my sister and I drove out to California to visit my mom this past weekend, we bought tickets.

And now, here I lay in my bed with my little laptop tray, surrounded by sleeping dogs in my mess of a bedroom, checking lottery ticket numbers. In my pajamas.

What They Don't Tell You When You Have Surgery: A Post-Op Post

I had neck surgery about two weeks ago.

The whole business of surgery is unsettling. You don't really know what goes on in that operating room when you're passed out from anesthesia.

Despite my trepidation though, I knew it was time to have surgery. I had a couple discs in my neck that had been causing me problems for a few years and it finally got bad enough that I felt like I didn't have much choice.

Three Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Do as a Parent

Being a parent is hard. Even if you go into it, expecting it to be hard... it's harder than you ever imagined.

Oh sure, there's joys and rewards and in the end, you wouldn't trade it for anything, blah, blah, blah.

But there are some things you end up doing, as a parent, that you never, ever, EVER, thought you would have to do.

Just Another Weekend Full of Epiphanies, Chores, Peppercorns and Coneheads

Well, it's another red-letter weekend over here at Laidoffsville. Below are the highlights.

The Big Garage Clean-up

On Saturday I decided to organize the left side of our garage because it's been a big jumbled mess for a few months now and I finally got tired of it. 

When Fred saw what I was doing he asked what the trigger was. He hates when I start a project like that because he knows he's going to get sucked into it somehow.