For Christmas 2008, I made my oldest daughter a cookbook. She was a vegetarian at the time, and at 17 was determined to move out on her own as soon as she turned 18. I worried she would starve. I tried to show her how to make nutritious vegetarian meals, but her attention span was short and the texting gene was stronger than the cooking one.
So, I made her a cookbook that she could take with her when she moved out, which according to her, would be at midnight on the day of her 18th birthday. Gotta love teenage optimism. I wanted this cookbook to be special, so I gathered favorite vegetarian recipes from family members and added photos and anecdotes and put it together scrapbook style.
This was hubby's contribution and it captures my lovely, effervescent, easily-sidetracked girl to the tee, AND hubby's hilarious-ness:
MARISSA'S MACARONI & CHEESE SOUP:
Open Macaroni & Cheese box and smell contents – touch noodles with nose if possible
Make sister boil pan full of water – pour contents of box into pan of boiling water
Look at picture on front of box and imagine eating delicious Macaroni & Cheese
Text friends about eating delicious Macaroni & Cheese
When fire alarm goes off, turn off stove and refill pan with water to replace evaporated water
Let sit until someone else tries it and throws up in the sink
Leave in pan on counter for someone else to throw away – deny making mess in kitchen
Decide to bake a cake instead
CRAPPIEST-LOOKING CAKE IN THE WORLD:
Go to store to buy cake mix; forget to actually buy cake mix
Ask adult to take you back to store to buy cake mix you forgot
Pour contents of box into mixing bowl – throw away box with instructions
Add 1 carton of eggs, 1 gallon of milk, and 1 handful of butter
Stir impatiently for 5 seconds, then say "Thish ish haaard!" out loud
Lick spoon until clean – put spoon back in drawer when nobody is looking
Bake at highest temperature so it will be done sooner – remove after episode of Full House
Plop icing onto top of cake with hand until it looks like surface of Planet Dogpoop
Give cake to boyfriend to get him to break up with you – deny making mess in kitchen
7 comments:
Thats HILARIOUS!!
love the cookbook idea - injected with humour :) !
um, sorry for that - some mixup in editing - that was me, marcime, from Belly UP...Cheers!
"remove after episode of Full House"
i hate to tell you this, but i think your husband and i are actually soul mates. we're running off together now.
OMG! I love it! Sounds just like my kiddos making mac and cheese! LOL
My daughter loves to cook only she won't cook from a recipe! Too much Food Network and she thinks she can just scrounge around in the pantry and whip something up. We end up with some real doozies and a lot of wasted ingredients!
Too funny...I love your hubby's sense of humor.
I also really like the idea of making a cookbook and just might steal if for my little vegan who's leaving me in the fall!
Oh, there's some things you should know about "Hubby" before you opt to run away with him: First, Hubby don't run... not unless his life is in danger, and even then he'll need an accurate assessment of the danger first and make a determination based on its findings. Second, Hubby snores... you'd truly have to be a soulmate to willingly subject yourself to that! Third, I'm not even sure which states allow for Hubby to have two soulmates (though I'm thinking we might have some luck Midwest-ish if you want to check into it).
Sincerely, Hubby
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