Fishing Lessons So I Don't Embarrass the Family

I think I've mentioned that we're going camping next week. So, preparations are in full swing over here. This is the first year in a long time that my brother won't be able to go with us due to his work schedule. That's a shame because he's the expert fisherman and I almost always catch fish when I fish with my brother. I've never caught anything when I've fished without him. I wouldn't tell him that though.

No fish means I have to pack stuff for dinner and that's just more work for me. So, when he insisted on giving my sister and I a lesson in fishing pole rigging, I was all about it, believe me.

Of course, in true big-brother fashion, his reasons for giving us a lesson were so that we don't "embarrass the family at the lake."

Pffffft. Whatever. I just want to catch some fish so I don't have to lug extra food.

So my sister, her 15-year-old step-son, and I gathered on our patio for our pole rigging lesson. We were a motley crew, the 3 of us and my sister and I were in full wise-cracking mode, so my brother was in for a rough ride. Here he is, making pole preparations:

See the pink poles on the right side there? Aren't they cute! Those are the poles my sister and I are fishing with.

I think the "embarrassing the family at the lake" ship has sailed, people.

So here's how the lesson went:

Brother: "So your poles will be taken apart like this...and you'll want to slide the top part into the bottom part, like this."

Sister: "And we want to make sure the little loopeys are lined up, right?"

Brother: "The guides. Yes, make sure they're lined up."

Sister, me, and nephew, in unison (not unlike the alien squeekie toys in Toy Story who always said "The Claaaawwww"): "Guiiiiides."

Brother, after rolling his eyes: "I'm going to show you a slide-sinker-rig for floating cheese."

Me: "A-who-and-a-what-for-a-what?"

Brother, slightly exasperated: "Just pay attention! Get a sinker and a swivel from this tackle kit. I made this for you to take with you."

Me: "It's all dirty. What is that, fish guts on there?? Ewww. Why is it so dirty?"

Brother: "IT IS WHAT IT IS AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE TAKING!!"

Me: "Ew."

At this point, my nephew gets up from his chair, holding his pole upright, which then gets hit by the ceiling fan that was on, surprising him so that he tripped on the chair, and spilled his cup of ice water all over the place.

My sister and I started laughing. My brother was not amused.

Once my nephew got settled, my brother launched back into his lesson.

Brother: "Thread the sinker on the line, then you're going to tie the swivel on with a fisherman's knot and I'll show you how to tie the knot."

In case you didn't know, a sinker is a silver oval shaped weight and a swivel is a tiny gold thingy, like a necklace clasp, that has a loop at either end.

Me: "This is like making jewelry."

Brother, rolling his eyes for the 900th time: "Right."

My brother shows us how to tie the fisherman's knot to the swivel, then a leader line to the other end of the swivel, then a hook at the end of it all.

Didn't think you'd actually learn something about fishing here, did you?

My Sister, handing her pole to my brother: "Did I do this right?"

My brother tugs the hook and it falls off.

Brother: "No."

Sister: "Oh, I guess I need to pull the knot tighter."

My brother, burping his answer: "Riiiiiiiight." (Actually, it was more like, "BRIIIIIIIPPPE")

My sister rolled her eyes and I gloated that MY knot did not come undone and my hook was dangling prettily at the end of the line like it was supposed to.

Surprisingly, I ended up being the star pupil, seeing as my hook didn't fall off, so maybe I'll catch the fish while my sister can build the fires with her dryer-lint fire starters.

We'll see how that goes.

I'll tell you one thing - I can't wait to get out of this heat! Where we're camping, it't 8400 feet up, so it should be about 30 degrees cooler than here. And down here, we are melting! It's supposed to be 115 this weekend. Gawd. That's friggin hot. Record breakingly hot, actually.

So, I can't wait to camp! Look out fish!

Fisherman Lori signing off.