They'll Eat Me First in a Zombie Apocalypse

Well, if a global pandemic doesn't get me to blog, I don't know what will.

Even my dog is paranoid of catching it. She was sleeping soundly until I sneezed, then shot her head up and gave me this look, "Cover yer mouff, mom. Gawd!"

When I last left you, it was December and I wrote about our TomHanksgiving.

But the whole world has changed since then and no one wants to be Tom Hanks's neighbor right now.

Too soon?

Actually, I think he and his wife have recovered by now.

Seriously though, I don't take the Covid-19 virus lightly. Sure, the memes are funny and I share them shamelessly because laughing gets us through crisis, no? (to use Tom Hanks phraseology)

But what has happened in China and is happening in Spain, Italy, India, New York and other parts of the world is heartbreaking and I hope anyone reading this is safe and as well as you can be right now.

Here in Nevada we aren't officially on quarantine yet, but non-essential businesses are closed, groups of 10 or more gathered inside or out is illegal, schools are closed, and they're telling us all to stay home.

As an introvert, this means zero difference to my lifestyle, other than we order our groceries online now.

Well...that and I can't go out shopping with my sister. Or eat out. Or hug my daughters when they come by. Fred and I are in that "high-risk of complications" category, hence we're overly cautious.

So there's a few differences that suck. But for us, all in all, staying home is right in our wheelhouse.

How about you all? How are you doing?

More importantly, how's your toilet paper stash? Who knew it would be a hot commodity? I said the below to Fred, before I threw out the finished roll, and voila! Another toilet paper meme was born. You're welcome.

I'll tell you one thing though - this whole coronavirus situation made me realize how much we need an emergency kit in our house and I'm definitely going to put one together.

You know...after this emergency is over.

I would do it now, except you can't find any emergency supplies at the moment because of all the other emergency preparedness slackers out there who waited till the last minute to prepare, like us.

Well, that and the damn hoarders.

Anyway, I wasn't sure what should go into an emergency kit, so I went to the source everybody trusts, the U.S. Government. They have a list here https://www.ready.gov/kit.

While you're looking at the apocalypse supplies you need, you can also browse the list of possible emergencies in which you may need them, in alphabetical order. Oh look...pandemic. It's right under nuclear explosion.

That's some scary shit right there and I decided that Fred and I needed to make an immediate emergency plan and put together whatever supplies we were able to gather at that moment. Like, right then.

It was a hard sell, since it was a Saturday afternoon and he was laying in bed watching Big Bang reruns, but he eventually humored me and we went through our camping bin to see what we could use.

Flashlights and a radio, both with dead batteries and no new batteries to fit them.

Good start.

Oh and also, half a roll of squashed toilet paper with a couple pine needles in it. That was actually useful in our current situation.

After taking stock of what we didn't have, we argued over how to store our emergency kit, where to store it, and what food to put in it.

I don't know how preppers stay happily married, I really don't.

The end result is, we don't have an emergency apocalypse kit, but we do have "hole up and stay inside for a few weeks" kit, so for the moment we're fine. And still married.

I'll leave you with a clip of what goes on in our home office pretty much every day, even before the pandemic. Fred and I may not be preppers, but we make each other laugh.

Good thing having fun is a sought-after skill when picking community members in the zombie apocalypse.

We're gonna get picked last - I know it.

I wonder if our pellet guns will finally come in handy.

Anyway, I hope the video makes you smile and I hope you're well and safe and have what you need for now.

Signed,
The one who gets eaten first